So dude climbed up this mountain back in the day to see this Kung Fu master. He meets him, and he's all like "Peep dis, hommie: I've been to every dojo in the valley and have mastered every style. I've become the best fighter around. I've heard everyone say yours is the best Kung Fu, son, so i came all the way up this mountain so you can teach me yo!"

The old man at the top of the mountain pondered this young man's story, and was a little freaked out that the young traveller didn't speak at all like some one from eleventh century China, but thought 'Whatevs' and put some tea on.

The young guy said "Hey, man, why are you making tea? We gots ta get our Kung Fu on!"

But the old man replied "Chill out, slick. We gonna get our drank on with some of this pimp-tea!"

The old man poured tea into the cup he had placed out for the young man, but it overflowed from the cup and splashed into the traveller's lap.

"WHAT THA FUCK, B?!" the young man exclaimed. "Aww hell naw!" And he ran back down the mountain, holding his pants out away from his crotch to keep the scalding hot tea away from his balls. "This crazy-ass fool burned mah junk..." he muttered to himself as he waddled away. He kinda looked like a kid that pee'ed his pants, you know. Waddle waddle.

Look, this isn't how the story really goes. It's late, and there's a helicopter and an airplane that keeps circling around, like there's some crazy shit going down right now. Plus, I'm really sick, so I'm not gonna fix the story.

Sorry

Goodnight.

Go to sleep, now.

I'm not sorry.