No Parking

I'm going to buy a small parking lot near an intersection. I'm going to block it off with a fence and a gate that doesn't quite reach all the way across. It will have a proximity card activated gate and those retractable tire shredders. There will be HUGE signs warning of severe tire damage and being towed and prosecuted, and a sign that says call this number for help with my number.

Once a day for a week at different times of day I'll use my card to open the gate and retract the spikes and park there for an hour or two and then leave, with the gate closing and spikes extending behind me.

Eventually, some one is going to get stranded in there and call me. I'll show up and tell them that if they can read any one of the signs to me, I'll buy them replacement tires and pay for them to be towed to a shop and put them up in a hotel for the night if need be. Once they read the sign, I'll know that they didn't get stuck in there because they're illiterate.

Then I'll laugh and drive away. Then post to YouTube.

Pictures I saw on teh interwebz: