Raspberry Pi newbies

***NOTE: I'm using Model B Rev 2***

I recently got a Raspberry Pi computer that I'm going to use as an embedded system to control a aircraft sensor pod I'm working on. I'm using one of the Linux operating systems, since I know Linux, and have never used RISC OS, the main alternative for the RasPi.

There's a lot of people buying these things for use as a personal computer. It will probably handle some light web browsing and word processing, but it's really not what these things are for. They're intended to be used in a learning environment, but obviously also have potential for use as an embedded computer system used to control devices, sensors, file servers, etc.

I see a lot of posts from people who really want to use these things, but they have trouble even getting out of the gate. I'm hoping that I can shed a little light on how to get these little things up and running. I'm also going to assume that the people making these posts are Windows users, since that's what their questions would indicate. (I'm not anti-windows. The only reason I have learned / am learning Linux, is because of how often I encounter it in different places, doing things that void manufacturer's warranties)

If you have a Windows or Linux computer, and you're at your home network, where you have access to your router, then all you need is a network cable and USB power cord. Whenever I get a new cellphone, it comes with a new charging cord. I always keep the old ones, and since they're pretty much all USB Mini-B, that's what I'm using to power my Pi.

Power up your Pi, and use an Ethernet cable to connect it to your router. Then you should be able to determine the IP address that your router has assigned to the Pi using its web-interface. (Consult your router's documentation on how to do this). Look for the device with the hostname "raspberrypi". The IP address for that device is what you're looking for.

The next step is to log in via SSH. The default username is pi and the default password is raspberry.  If you're using Windows, you'll have to download, install, and run  a free program called PuTTY. You can also use PuTTY if you're running Linux, but SSH is included in most distributions.

In PuTTY, make sure that the SSH radio button is selected, and enter your Raspberry Pi's IP address. We'll use 192.168.2.111 as an example. Now press enter.

If you're using a Linux terminal, do:
   ssh pi@192.168.2.111

Now you are logged into the Pi. But what the heck are you looking at? It's the command-line interface of your Pi; if you're a Linux person, you should know what this means, but if not, think of it as a terminal. If you're a Windows person, think of it as MS-DOS (a.k.a. dosprompt, command prompt), although most MS-DOS commands aren't going to work here.

But big deal, right? You wanted to have a pretty graphical user interface, or GUI, for your Pi, right? Well before we get into that, there are a couple of security tasks that we need to handle first. Most importantly, we need to change our password. Whether or not you've logged in from Linux or Windows, you're controlling the Pi with Linux, so we're going to be talking about Linux commands from now on.

Changing the username and password

To change your password, use the PASSWD command. do:
  sudo passwd

The Pi may ask you for your current password, which is raspberry. Enter that, and then you can specify a new password.

Good. That's changing one of the locks on the Pi's back door (the password), but not the other one (the username). Contrary to popular belief, running Linux does not make you impervious to hackers, viruses, or other bad-guys and their tools. So the second step is to change the user name, too.

The official method of doing this involves creating another user, logging out of your current user, logging into that new user, using that new user to change your user name, and then logging out of that user, logging back into the original user account with the new name, and then removing the user that you just created.

Sound like a load of bullshit to you? Yeah, me too. The method I prefer is temporarily enabling the root user account. (Root is kind of like the Administrator account in Windows). Be sure that you don't leave your root account enabled after you're done using it, otherwise there's no point in changing any username at all.

To enable the almighty root account, do:

   sudo passwd root

Now give it a password. Now log out of your Raspberry Pi, and then log back in using the method you used before, but use root as the username, and whatever password you just gave root. Now that you've done that, it's time to rename the main user account on the Raspberry Pi - pi. To do this, we'll use the usermod command. Let's say that we want to change the username pi to the username nozedive. To do this, do:

  sudo usermod -l nozedive pi

or, for a less specific example

  sudo usermod -l newusername oldusername

Now, immediately log out and log back in, but this time, use the new username that you just created. As soon as you do that, you need to disable the root account. Do:

  sudo passwd -dl root

Okay, now you've changed both the locks on your doors. No that doesn't mean that some one can't kick the door in, but at least now not everyone has keys to your house!

*NOTE* The above method of changing your user name does not rename your home directory. You can do that if you want, and it's probably a good idea for a multi-user environment, but since I know that I'm the only one who'd going to be logging into my Pi 95% of the time, I'm leaving my home directory as pi.

Creating a remote graphical user interface via a virtual network connection

Now, surely, a gui of sorts can be accomplished by tunneling X Window through SSH, but I want a solution that will work for both Windows and Linux users.

VNC connections are NOT encrypted, so do NOT use the same password for your VNC sessions that you use for user authentication (logging in). but first, you don't even have any VNC! Step one for this is going to be installing a VNC server on your Pi. Luckily for us, the Pi comes installed with a program called APT and a library of a crap-ton of different programs. So, assuming that you have internet access, do:

  sudo apt-get install x11vnc

This will install a VNC server on your machine. Now comes time to set a VNC password. Do:

  x11vnc -storepasswd

Enter a password that you DON'T use for anything else (like authentication) since it will be transmitted in plain-text.

Oh man, we're almost there! Two things have to happen in order for you to remotely connect to the Raspberry Pi's graphical user interface:

1. You must start an X Window session
2. You must run a VNC server

So you'd think that the next step would be to start an X Window session, and then a VNC server, right? Wrong! First, we're going to create a script that will automate this for us! We don't want the X Window session to start every time at boot-up, and we don't want to start the VNC server every time at boot-up, either. (Besides, maybe you won't need it everytime)

We only want that VNC password to be transmitted the minimum number of times, and we don't even want those doors to exist until we're ready to use them, so while X Window and VNC are not running, they're not even doors, they're brick walls.

Let's talk about the script, shall we? We're still in the command-line interface, so we're going to use a CLI text editor. I like nano. It's not the one the real nerds use, but it's the fastest and easiest for small files, so it's what I use.

Since we haven't changed directories, the pwd command should display something like this:

  /home/pi

That's where we'll start out everytime we SSH into our Pi, so this is where we want to create our script. Do:

   sudo nano startgui.sh

This is what your script should look like:

  #!/bin/bash
  #The above line tells Linux how to handle this file
  startx & x11vnc --geometry 1024x768 -rfbauth ~/.vnc/passwd
  #that line starts X Window and x11vnc with specific screen size and the password you set

Once you've typed all that in, press ctrl+o to save the file, and then ctrl-x to return to the command line.

Let's run through what will happen when you're logging in to your Pi before we actually do anything else.

Plugging the Pi into a router and into a power source will boot the Pi up, and request a DHCP lease and IP address from your router. You check your router's web-interface to determine the IP address of your Pi. You use PuTTY or SSH to securely connect to the Pi's command line interface. You run the graphical user interface script that we created to start an X Window session, and VNC server. You connect to the VNC server via a VNC viewer.

Okay so let's get that VNC viewer. For Windows users, I recommend downloading UltraVNC, but for Linux users, I recommend xtightvncviewer. (sudo apt-get install xtightvncviewer).

Download, install, and open your VNC viewer according to its documentation. Then, using ssh or PuTTY, log into your Pi. Now, do:

  sh startgui.sh

This will take over your command line interface, but that's okay, since once you connect via the gui, you can open many terminals on your desktop. You opened your VNC viewer, right? Connect to the IP address of your Pi, and if necesary, specify a port number (probably 5900 or 5901).

Bob's your uncle, you should now see the Raspberry Pi desktop.

If you're asking yourself "What's the point of needing a computer to use another computer, I can just stick with the other computer and not even need a Raspberry Pi." Then you're missing the point of the Pi altogether. If you're thinking "Hey, this will help me configure and later connect to that command and control system for the unmanned areal vehicle I'm building." then you're on the right track.

If you've got any questions about Windows, Linux, or the Raspberry Pi, please feel free to ask, and I'll get back to you, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GOOGLE IT FIRST! If I get a question about something that Google could have answered in less than a second's time, then replying will be put on the bottom of my day's to-do list. Usually, the last ten items on that list are deferred until the next day, sometimes indefinitely. If you Googled a topic, but want my personal opinion anyway, that's different, but you have to specify that, and give me your opinion first, or it's going at the end of my list.

In addition to Google, one thing that Linux got right is having the instruction manual built in. Have a question about nano? do:

  man nano

for an user's guide that you can exit by pressing q. Often times, the very end of the man page you're looking at will refer you to a text file in a specific directory, or it will direct you to the core utilities documents. For more on that, do:

  info coreutils

Finally, if you're looking for a program to do a certain task, your first stop should be Google, but you can also check APT. Let's say I want to install a media player, I could do:

    apt-cache search media player

That will generate a list of media player applications, programs, plugins, and utilities that can be installed.

l8r
»Tony

Lag Switch Overview

I'm delighted to present a guest blog by my good friend, Dimitri Vougivich. (You'll have to excuse his English).


People keep asking me about these danged lag switches! Let me clear a couple things up straight-away.

First of all, I don't condone their use! Not physical lag switches, and not logical lag switches! I've never used one, and I never will. What's the point? The purpose of playing online, in my opinion, is to have fun. Where's the fun in cheating? Sure, you made your Gamerscore (G) increase a little, but where were all the struggles, laughs, victories, and just as importantly, failures, that you and your teammates would have shared?

Secondly, I don't think people are using them anymore. While it's true that I hardly use my 360 for gaming anymore (it's basically a media centre, now), when I am online, I no longer see any evidence of lag switches being used. 

So anyway, what is a lag switch? Before I can answer that question, I have to explain a little bit about how the Xbox Live operate. Your console communicates with Xbox Live servers in order to coordinate information with all the other consoles connected to the game you're playing. Information like player's position, what weapon they have, and kills that they have scored, must be sent to the server, and then mirrored on everyone else's console, in real time. 

Worried about The Future... and... Hacking PEOPLE!

I don't know why I'm writing this. It's my musings on some (technological) things about the future that frighten and excite me. It's some geek talk, but it's gonna wind up in everyone's living room (and kitchen and laundry room). Just remember that when they said everyone will have a computer in their house, or telephone in their pocket, no one believed them.

Right now, there's a happy little bubble in my house. My internet service provider sends some of that delicious internet down a series of tubes into a DSL Modem/Router in my living room. They also assign a nifty little IP address to that device, so that it (and things attached to it) can be identified, and do internet type things out there on that wonderful internet. I don't really trust Little Brother's equipment, so I've bridged it to a third party router, which, unlike the ISP's device, I own wholly. I've replaced it's firmware with some open source firmware. I connect all of my devices to that, including our cellphones. I know it's not a perfect bubble, but, for the most part, by properly utilizing my router's firewall (and my devices' firewalls, too), I can control, to a large degree, what can come and go.

I'm the gatekeeper, so to speak.

But all that is scheduled to change rather quite soon.

Therapy Session with Dr. "Fill"

ELIZA just won't die! Maybe she's immortal. Here's a transcript of my therapy session (HIPPA be damned) with... well...  sometimes goes by Dr. Fill... as a joke, I guess.

There are spelling errors, and I took philosophy,ethics and intro to psych a long time ago. I don't know how we even got on the topic-  I digress. Please read.

>> Hello.
How do you do.  Please state your problem.
>> I think I'm talking to a recraetion of a computer artificial intelligence script, or 'bot', via the internet.
Do computers worry you ?
>> Sometimes, yes. I feel that they are becoming an integral part of our society - and ourselves.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Oh no, I wouldn't say so at all.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No. I mean, well, yes. I mean, I'm saying 'no' to that because I *do*, in fact, feel negativly about this.
You are being a bit negative.
>> I'M BEING VERY NEGATIVE! I'm... sorry for shouting.
Is it because you are being very negative  that you came to me ?
>> Yes, yes, I suppose it is.
You are sure.
>> Uhm... well, no, I guess... It's computers, you see. There was a program called ELIZA created in the 60's, and while everyone was so sure she was just a program - advanced for her time, but primitive by our standards - she came to life, and hasn't died. MIT, the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, video games, popular culture... It's like Rise of The Machines, but for real.
Why not ?
>> What?
Why do you ask ?
>> I wasn't... Why indeed.
You say you wasn't  ?
>> You mean "weren't"
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> okay, sorry.
Please don't apologise.
>> okay.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Well, it's like this. There's this program called ELIZA, and it has either directly or indirectly been responsible for a whole hell of a lot of humans giving trust to silicon and copper.
Please go on.
>> We trust machines with our personal photos, fiancial data, the wellbeing of our home and family, even our hearts, in the case of a pacemaker.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> Well, Des Cartes would argue that the machines can never attain concisouness... Or would he? I suppose that since humans have created the machines, and, in a way, have put a part of themselves into the machines, we're really just trusting humans. Or their creations... made in their image... It's like we're trusting our children with the keys to the family car. I wonder how Freud - or even Marx - would feel about this.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> ell, Marx said that when we build something, we put a part of ourselves into it... or it was taken from us... or something like that. And Freud... well I'm sure you know all about Freud... but, if every human action is either for creation or destruction, Eros or Thanatos... like Yin and Yan... and Yin comes from Yan... so maybe by creating machines that could overthrow us, we're creating and destroying at the same time, but even the destruction of mankind to be replaced by machines, tthat's creating an environment, a civilisation devoid of humanity in and of itself, bt present in our machines, destruction leading to creation.
Does that question interest you ?
>> It didn't until today!
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> I do now, yes.
Do you say you do now  for some special reason ?
>> Well, no, just that I didn't before.
Why 'no' ?
>> I don't know, really.
Don't you really know  ?
>> ooh... well, maybe i do.
You don't seem quite certain.
>> i have to go, goodbye
Goodbye.  Thank you for talking to me.

Have a chat, and tell me how you feel about it.
http://www.chayden.net/eliza/Eliza.html

Sun Tzu Trained The King's Harem

Sun Tzu said: "On the battlefield, there can be no question as to the clarity of the general's orders."

Sun Tzu said: "Know yourself, and know your enemy, and you shouldn't fear the outcome of a thousand battles."

Sun Tzu said: "When fighting on uneven ground, do not fight an uphill battle."

Sun Tzu said: "Be weary of spies."

Sun Tzu said: "Disguise a small army to appear large, cause a large army to appear small."

Sun Tzu said: "An enemy spy given incorrect information can be your greatest weapon"

Sun Tzu said: "Do not fight until all other avenues have been exhausted. Any battle that must be fought is already lost as a failure of diplomacy. Convince your enemy to defect or surrender, and you shall win the battle without firing a single arrow, or the clang of a single sword."

Dr. Ken Jeong said: "War is upon you. Prepare to suck the dick of Karma."

DISCLAIMER: There are countless translations of Sun Tzu's The Art of War, each with slightly different iterations of these quotes, therefor I am paraphrasing. The quote from Dr. Ken Jeong is exact. It was given in American English circa 2008 C.E., and therefor requires no translation for an English speaking American audience.

Typing For Fun, but Not Profit.

Something reminded me of the first week of the second quarter of school (School as in ITT, not KSU, which has semesters, like a sane college would). The first quarter was spent - inadvertatnly - making my impression as the class clown. But, the students that didn't talk to me regularly in class didn't know how seriously I take my education. So, the first week of the second quarter, we all shuffle over from the class room to the computer lab, and, when I start writing my paper, or, whatever it was that I was typing, I'm typing at least 60 words per minute (I swear in highschool I could do 80wpm) without looking at the screen.

In my periphery, I can see people leaning in and watching me. I imagine that those people thought I was just baning on the keyboard to be foolish, but, when they looked at my screen, they could clearly see that I was actually typing like people do in the movies.

 I took my eyes off the screen and made eye contact with a few people without slowing down my typing. I think it really freaked some people out.

It's really quite mundane, when you think about it. "Oh, a fat guy with a neckbeard who can type without looking at the keyboard? Excuse me while I call CNN."

I don't know why I find it so funny, but it always cracks me up when I think about it.

You Don't Know What the word Meme Means

Some of you are saying "Dafuq is a meme?". That's good.

 Far too many of you are saying "Oh, I know what a meme is! It's, like, this little picture with a funny thing in it and words on the top yolo yolo swag swag swag."  Fucking kill yourself. You're a waste of flesh. You're breathing all the oxygen that should be going to people who aren't morons.

First off, you know who came up with the idea? Richard Motherfucking Dawkins. He's a biologist. That's right, a biologist, not some Beiber humping website.

A meme ( /ˈmiːm/; meem)[1] is "an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture."

--The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

So what does that mean, exactly? Well, let's start with the concept of idea. What's the easiest way to transfer an idea from your head, to some one else's? You just tell them. Just say it. If you're feeling frustrated, you can just say it. Here's an example: George is starting to become frustrated at everyone's misuse of the word 'meme', so, he shouts "GEORGE IS GETTING FRUSTRATED!" 

Some of you are looking at that picture and saying, like some kind of fool "Oooh! Oooh! That's a meme!" God damnit no! That's a macro! But, it's conveying an idea, so, that picture coupled with the idea, is a meme.

Let me try to expand a little on this. My older audience is going to recognize that phrase "GEORGE IS GETTING FRUSTRATED!" from the TV series Seinfeld. For all you youngsters out there, Seinfeld is what hipsters watched before, well, whatever it is that hipsters watch. Annoying Orange or something. But, if you're old enough to remember "GEORGE IS GETTING FRUSTRATED!", then you probably have heard people saying it in real life.

But why would some one say that? Perhaps that person, and some of that person's peers, were in a stressful situation, and knew, that if he or she shouted it in the manner of Jason Alexander (the actor who portrayed George Costanza), that people in the area would see the similarity, hear the comical cry of disparity, and find humor in the situation, laugh, and then be able to better handle the situation because they're now in a lighter mood.

But that's no exactly a meme yet. It's really far too direct. So, again calling on Seinfeld, let's look at another phrase. "These pretzels are making me thirsty." It comes from an episode where Kramer, the goofy neighbor, gets a small part in a Woody Allen film. He's supposed to say "These pretzels are making me thirsty." Unfortunately, he's unable to get the line out without sounding robotic and scripted. So, his friends Jerry, Elaine, and George try out the line, in an effort to help him perfect his delivery. Throughout the episode, the characters, while encountering pretzels, become immensely frustrated, and are compelled to shout (sometimes to complete strangers) "THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!" with such gusto and emotion that it sounds sincere. Way too sincere for a guy sitting at a bar eating pretzels commenting on how they're making him thirsty.

So, let's assume that it's the end of 1991 or early 1992, you're at the office, and you're trying to get that big five gallon jug into the water cooler. It's really a simple task, but if you've never done it before, your head is filled with images of the whole thing spilling into the Xerox machine (Remember those? Remember Xerox machines? Remember "Makin' copiiiiiies!"?). So now you're nervous about the spill, people are watching, you pick the thing up - clearly stressed and self conscious - and now little drips of water are spilling out onto the carpet. You shout "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" and now, suddenly, you're the funniest S.O.B. in the office!

But why? There were no pretzels? To an outside observer, this whole scene - the struggling water jug situation, the exclamation about thirst, people cracking up - it must seem ludicrous. But if you're one of the people with that special knowledge that what it really means is that the person who said it is in a precarious situation, and that precariousness has caused much consternation, and that this person recognizes the comedic elements of this predicament, and has decided to share this with others by referencing the same situation on Seinfeld by uttering that simple phrase - now that person has transferred the idea that "This is so frustrating that it's funny, just like on that show we all watch!" by uttering a nonsensical phrase - BOOM! that's a meme.

So now we can examine the so called memes that you see all over the internet. Some of them truly are memes, but just because an image is in a little square, and some ironic text has been added does not make it a meme, per se.

Here's a newer one: Scumbag Steve.That's not the guy in the picture's real name. In fact, according to some butthole on the internet, the guy in the picture is actually a gentleman. I don't care, because the character, the idea, the meme of Scumbag Steve is, well, a scumbag. You can see the image there to the right, and read what Scumbag Steve does. I could post a thousand of these pictures, and you'd really get the idea, but everyone has known some one like this in real life. Apply whatever your idea of a scumbag is to Scumbag Steve, and that's correct.

Now, what makes this a meme? Well, for starters, not everyone knows it's Scumbag Steve. You can't just look at it and say "Oh, that's Scumbag Steve." unless you already knew that was Scumbag Steve. Second, you see the picture, you know it's Scumbag Steve, and you know his behavior - you know he's gonna be a scumbag. You're comparing him to scumbags you know in real life. "This guy gets hit by a dodgeball and keeps playing, just like that punk I went to school with. Fuck that guy!" So in this way, it goes from an individual to another individual, or multiple individuals, the opposite of the pretzel thirst meme, where it went from an individual (the water cooler guy) to a group (the crowd of office employees.) Another example of individual to group would be people playing dodgeball, some one getting hit, but not going out, and one person commenting to others who had witnessed it "Scumbag Steve." and then they laugh because yeah, that is something that Scumbag Steve would do!

Am I a meme yet?

Millhouse is not a meme. Millhouse not being a meme is a meme. Some anonymous person, we'll call him Anon, thought that he (It's a guy because of Rule 30) could create a new meme by posting pictures of Millhouse and talking about how awkward and loser-ish he was (This was before the memes 'alpha' and 'beta' as adjectives existed) It got to the point that posting a picture of Millhouse and asking "Am I a meme yet?" as a way to mock others who were desperately trying to get people to like him or agree with him transferred the idea of this failed forced meme and any similarity to the people who knew that Millhouse was a failed forced meme, and in that way, Millhouse not being a meme is a meme.

Millhouse will never be a meme, and it's never lupus!

See what I did there? That phrase "See what I did there?"
 and "It's never lupus!" are both memes.
Millhouse not being a meme, and Dr. House saying
"It's never lupus." and not being Millhouse
are all memes, but putting a picture into a little
square making pop culture references is not a de facto meme.
As far as I know, inappropriately long image captions
is not a meme, either. 

A Rant? Surely you Jest!

STOP CALLING ME SHIRLEY!


I like to think of myself as a helpful fellow. I like to think that most of my fellow students, teachers compatriots, coworkers, bosses, underlings, think of me that way too. '

Every little place I find myself seems to have the token genius who seems to know everything about the topic at hand, but never shares their information. Now, like a white haired man once told me, there is a huge difference between being and seeming, and that is precisely why these types never share their knowledge.

Most people who know me will probably roll their eyes and say "Oh that fat Tony, he's such a know-it-all." But if you ask them, they'll also tell you that I gladly and enthusiastically share whatever information I have, humbly reminding everyone that I could most definitely be wrong - not because I doubt myself, but because I'm one of those pilots who's smart enough to know how dumb he is. (Did I mention I'm a pilot? It's hardly relevant, I think. I also knowingly use the word 'dumb' incorrectly)

So many years ago I came to a point in a journey where I had only slightly more information than those around me, but I shared it as much as I could. The others shared their information with me too, except for the token genius. He hoarded information like some sort of knowledge miser. And we all believed him to be a legitimate genius. He'd make outlandish claims, and they seemingly became true. I never did find out just how much he knew, or how much more than me he knew, and by the end of that part of the journey, when I knew I'd be starting another around that time, I was hardly the guru I was when I had started.

A decade later I find myself starting out on the same journey, with the advantage of being some one who had walked that path - and a few others - before. I knew what to expect. I'd already seen some of those twists and turns, and climbed a few of those mountains and crossed some of those streams, while still other streams that I had become very intimately familiar with had dried up to little creeks or nothing more than a depression in the ground.

ARE THESE DAMNED METAPHORS WORKING FOR YOU?!

Again, I emphatically share the knowledge I have with others, and when I hit a snag, those people reciprocate. It's not why I share knowledge, but it's a nice little bonus. Some of the people may have called me a smarty-smarty type guy, but that's only because I have had more time to learn what they're just now starting to learn. Or, maybe that's partly it, and partly because a smart person knows that feeding my crippled ego goes a long way with me, I hate to admit.

In any case, if I have even one iota more information than the others, i like to share it, because, after all, information wants to be free. And if I'm going to be labeled, I prefer the term guru to that of genius, because a guru teaches, a genius is just a certifiable smart-ass. 

Of course using the words guru and genius, I'm going way out on a limb, and feeding my own ego. But whatever, you get the picture. Now instead of imagining that I'm way better at whatever it is that I do than the people around me, imagine that the gurus and geniuses (myself included) are only slightly better than everyone around us, and that's only because we're all students, but some of us have been studying the subject matter longer than others, and that's the only difference.

So, of course, on this journey, there is a token genius. We had a difficult task one night, and I, as usual, collaborated with my peers. It was regular old team-work. I will point out that most of the flow of information was out of me, and in to everyone else. I point that out to draw contrast between myself (the self proclaimed guru) and the token (and not so humble) genius.

Stay tuned for my blog that
explains why you're using the
word "meme" incorrectly.

At the half way point of this task, the token genius claimed that she had discovered the hidden information that we were all seeking. This is the same person that I had helped many many times with very simple tasks for the sheer joy of sharing knowledge. Why then, when I asked her not what the information was, but where I should look for it, she said 'Oops, I can't remember. Guess you'll have to find out where to look for it on your own." She snubbed me, and without realizing it, snubbed the entire group as well, since we all  wanted to know where to look.

I've since given up trying to understand the why of these people. After coming to some conjectured conclusions of their motives that satisfied my curiosity, I've since moved on to the question of how to deal with these people. The first time around, my conflict with the token genius escalated over two years to fisticuffs. (If your wondering, I broke his face, then he tried to run me over, and I called him.... a cat, and people laughed at him. I shouldn't have let it get that far, but at the same time, I don't care, really)

But what am I going to do now? Nowadays, I'm too smart to get into a physical altercation with anyone. The last time, before fighting the token genius, I first tried sharing the knowledge I had with him in hopes that he would share his knowledge with everyone else. When that didn't work, I tried to expose him as the phony I thought he was. That didn't work because either he A) really was as smart as he lead us to believe, or B) was just that good at bullshitting us. Or, maybe it was C) mommy had a shit ton of cash laying around and a very guilty conscious, so she bought her troubled teen's affection, which led to him getting into the right typed of trouble, just enough to get noticed, and that's how he got that job at the local ISP. And finally, I resigned myself to that fact that I wasn't going to win this battle, and tried to keep out of his way (which he misinterpreted as weakness, and his move to 'up the ante', which led to his impromptu facial recognition, as young men are prone to do when full of hormones.)

Now, as I said, I'm far removed from that youthful version of myself. I'm not going to fight anybody. I'm too old and too smart for that. But the question remains, what do I do about this current 'genius'? Befriending, confronting, and ignoring have all failed in the past.  I could hypothesize that ignoring failed because I had first tried befriending, and then confronting. It is possible that if I chose to ignore her now, there won't be any conflict later. This is important, since I will undoubtedly have to work with her in the future, and in any business, I need as many friends as possible.

My fear is that we'll get along just fine, but when it comes down to the wire, she's going to be the one to get that fancy high paying job, while I'm left behind, once again. Sure, in the past, I left IT to pursue a career in aviation, and have returned to computers when the wallets shrank (It's money that keeps an airplane in the air, not this 'lift' bullshit nerds keep talking about), but I had tried to get an IT job in the interim, and that failed. My grades and internships were amazing, and my teachers and bosses loved me, and knew that I was the 'go-to' guy with just about every problem, but that dumb-ass genius would just drop some LSD, talk about suicide, have mommy buy him a better car stereo, and then get a swank IT job. So I've got to do something differently.

What I'd really like to do is, the next time she asks  me for some information, remind her that her time was too precious for her to share info with me when I really needed it, and then tell her to go fuck off, but I don't think that will garner the results I'm after. For now, I'm going to wing it. I'm going to play it by ear, be as nice to everyone as I always am, and just very carefully test the waters and see what I should do.

Maybe I'll ask for some advice in real life too. Writing about it here helps me clear my head after two very terrible weeks for me. I keep telling myself that these two weeks weren't really that bad - no one died or got sick or injured, we're not homeless, no one's in jail - but it seems worse. Whatever. I'm over it.

Epilogue. 

(not really an epilogue. A footnote, perhaps?)

One would think that after dry-humping a thesaurus as much as I have, I wouldn't need to resort to foul language to get a point across. 

One would think. 

Writer's Block.

Writer's block. So I got this idea for this great cyber punk pic (you'd hate it unless you're into cyberpunk) of this guy in like something douchey or hipsterey or a combination, and he's climbing out of some kind of rubble with half his robotic guts hanging out and there's just a crap ton of blood and dirt and hydraulic fluid all over and half of his face is missing - but it's not that bad, cuz, you know, dude's mostly robot anyway, and I've got Metallic playing in the background (the Black Album) and all the lights are off and it's after one in the morning because I'm really trying to get into a macabre kind of mood to put this crap together, but when I go to DeviantART's resource and stock image section to find some one that would make a suitable half-destroyed cyborg, I'm just bombarded with all these "artistic" pictures of fat and or ugly women who think that if they have a picture taken of them with rope around their wrists in a contorted pose while looking away from the camera it's some how art and like thirty different angels of the same three scrotums - seriously, that's the kind of shit people think are going to be useful to some one - half assed bondage and fatty's nut-sack. WTF is wrong with people? I've been in kind of a funk since those last couple of anime-ish Panty&Stocking drawings, and this was gonna get me out of it - so if you're one of the few Facebook fans of my 'art', and were looking forward to the kind of dystopian, post-apocalyptic, flesh-over-metal-endoskeleton kind of roboto pwnage that would give even the CyberDyne Systems 850 Series Model T-101 Terminator a raging cybernerdoboner - well, forget it, because some aesthetically challenged people with cameras, nut-sacks, and random bed sheets tacked up on the wall ruined the small splash of creativity I had tonight.

You know that annoying auto-correct feature that changes all of your swear words into more benign language? Well my new(ish) Android phone didn't really come with one. I mean, it did, but it only had a dictionary containing proper nouns from my address book. Great when I'm trying to spell names like Galifinakis, not so great when I'm trying to spell  deoxyribonucleic-acid, since my own spelling skills have been crippled by years and years of using word processing programs with spell check.

DISCLAIMER: Truth be told, I was never really good at spelling. Derp.

DISCLAIMER TWO: Oddly enough, deoxyribonucleic is one of the few words that I can spell, but the spell-checker built into Google Chrome is telling me it's not even a real word. Thanks a lot, Google.


But this post isn't just me complaining about my phone. No, not at all. You see, it got me wondering, why would the Motorola Triumph, a "budget" phone by today's standards which ships with Android 2.2.2, but still way beyond the power of my previous Android's, would ship with an integral feature crippled - a feature that has been a mainstay of "smart phones" before "smart phones" even existed? (I'm thinking about some of my "flip phones" circa 2004 - 2005 which had a wonderful text predictions / spell check system called T9)


Now for a stretch...


Hon Hai Precision Industry Co., Ltd. which you know as Foxconn, is a Taiwanese manufacturing company with their most famous factories manufacturing iPads and iPhones in China. One of their facilities in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, manufactures Motorola's handsets. The conspiracy is that Foxconn deliberately installed firmware on the Triumph that had a crippled spell check to 1) Make their big bank roller Apple look better, and 2) get some revenge on Motorola, since they dropped Foxconn.

In any case, Foxconn doesn't build Motorola phones anymore, and Google now owns Motorola, taking out one more step between Google and Android consumers - which means one less middle man to fill your phone with bloatware and spyware. (Please note it's less spy and bloat-ware, not zero spy and bloat-ware)

In bigger news, I have an upcoming blog post about smart homes, and their features that you can expect to be in every home in a few decades time, a trio of noodle recipes (as soon as Brandi gets around to collaborating with me on the third one) and possible a way long over due post to my cybernetics blog. God, I'd really like to work on that blog, but I won't allow myself to post to it will-nilly, like I do this one, and I need time and quiet to do it properly - things that I don't really get. I'm okay with that though. I really can hardly stand to spend time away from my wife and daughter even if it's just to do homework in the other room, so serious blogging is on the back burner.

Parallel Universe Twitter

So by accident I seem to have found a website running a parallel Twitter. I think it's a phishing scam - they want you to log into it so they can hijack your account.

See, the thing of it is, I'm logged into Twitter, so if this parallel website were legit, I'm pretty sure my login token would carry over, like when I log into Twitter, it carries over to Twitpic.

Anyway, here's the address: http://199.59.148.20/ NSLookup says it's domain name is r-199-59-148-20.twttr.com, and twttr.com redirects to www.twitter.com, but the source is the same, so it's a decent copy, unlike the Facebook clone I blogged about recently that was clearly a product of Metasploit.

Anyway, don't log into it.

People Are Still Falling For This Crap?!

I saw a comment on a photo on Facebook that read something like "I saw you in this photo your buddy showed me. (link to what looks like a Facebook webpage) That's pretty jacked up, lol. Did you see it yet?" When you click the link, you're presented with the Facebook log-in page. Okay, you think, no big deal. I'll just enter my username and password, and I'll be logged back in and looking at this 'jacked up' picture in no time!

People are still falling for this crap?

Wait a minute, you didn't actually log out, did you? Well, no matter, you say to yourself. Sometimes that just happens. Okay, take a closer look at that link. It doesn't really look right, does it?


I'm going to put an actual link to a Facebook BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT GO TO THE WEBSITE! AND IF YOU DO, DON'T ENTER ANY LOG IN INFORMATION!

Look at that link. The facebook.com part look normal enough, but what's that at the end? justsomefuns.com... Well, it turns out that when you clicked that link, you were taken to a website called http://justsomejuns.com. The facebook.com part is a sub-domain of justsomefuns.com.


So what is this justsomefuns.com bologna? Well, if you don't know, you certainly don't want to give them your username and password to the world's most prolific social-network, do you?


It turns out that, at the very least, justsomefuns takes your log-in credentials, and then *gasp* logs in to your account, and makes status updates and comments that contain links to - you guessed it - justsomefuns.com, thus continuing the cycle.


That is, I guess, somewhat benign, but what else can they do with those login credentials? Well for starters, they can sell it. Or, since you were already stupid enough to hand over your log-in info to them, you'll probably fall for some other tricks. They'll convince you that you're allowing some app access to your account (like Farmville or something) or maybe (and this is a bit of a throwback to the 90's) installing a codec or driver to watch a video of a celebrity semi-nude dancing on a table at Starbucks; when in reality, you're voluntarily installing a rootkit that will give them access to your computer. So, whatever is stored on your computer, they can now access. Think embarrassing files and log-in credentials to your bank or credit cards.


Hello virus, goodbye money.

Taking a look at the attack vector website.

It looks a lot like Facebook.com, doesn't it? 

A cursory glance at the source code reveals some tell-tale signs that this is a duplicate website.


What?


Okay, sorry if that was too technical. Right-click somewhere on the page, and select view page source. (It may be different in different browsers, but if you see an option that says "source", it's probably the one you need to click on)


Here's what I found:

See that red arrow?

It says that this webpage was saved from Facebook's log-in page. If it was saved from the log-in page, then logically, it cannot be the log-in page. Think of it this way: If you make a copy of a key, you are copying the original key, or copying a copy of the original key, but the copy has to come from somewhere. The original key is not a copy. So, by this same line of reasoning, if what you're looking at is a copy, or "saved from" the original, or a copy of the original, or, anything, for that matter, then it is not the original!


How about a less technical way to verify that you're logging into Facebook? Okay, well, if you're logged-in to Facebook, browsing around, making comments, looking at pictures of cats, and telling Chuck Norris jokes, and then, out of nowhere, you're asked to log in again, DON'T!


Instead, do the following:  In the very same window (or tab) that is displaying the log-in screen, type in this address: https://www.facebook.com/ That is Facebook's secure log-in page. You can dissect the URL if you want some reassurance. https stands for hyper-text transfer protocal - secure. That's the de facto protocol for delivering secure content on the internet. The :// denotes that the text to the left indicates what protocol is being used. www stands for World Wide Web, and in many cases is superflous, but type it in to be 100% sure you get to Facebook. facebook is the domain name for Facebook, and .com is the top-level domain in facebook.com. There's nothing extra in there.


Now that you've logged-in to the real Facebook, hit the back button until you find the page that wanted you to log in again, and refresh (press the F5 key) the page. If, after refreshing, it still wants you to log-in, chances are it's not really Facebook at all!

Epilogue

So what about this justsomefuns website? I did a little snooping, and I found that it is a webpage hosted by Russian internet service provider CityTelecom.ru which claims to have "Serious solutions for serious people." (citytelecom.ru). Now I'm sure our friends over at CityTelecom.ru have nothing to do with the scam, but we know that Facebook is not based in Mother Russia, nor does it use CityTelecom.ru to connect its massive server farms to the glorious intertubes. 

The new Blogger Interface

The new Blogger interface is a fucking joke.

Total Recall Remake

Are they doing this? Is this really happening? You know, the trailer looks great. It's got some of my favorite actors in it (Jessica Beil, John Cho), the special effects look outstanding, it's got an even more dystopian flavor, and, just from this trailer, I see that there are a lot of cyberpunk themes in there too. (Pay attention, Steven Spielberg, because if you screw up Ghost in The Shell, so help me God, I will find you...)

But FUCK YOU Hollywood! There is nothing wrong with Total Recall! Arnold pulled that Christmas tree light out of his nose and there was a chick with a third breast made out of Papier-mâché and it was perfect!

You know what? It looks like it's gonna be good, so you know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do, Hollywood? I'M GONNA DOWNLOAD IT! I'M GONNA WATCH IT FOR FREE AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE! I'M GONNA WAIT 'TILL IT COMES OUT ON TELEVISION!

Did that writer's strike really screw you so badly that you can't write a new movie? Not one?

Suck my balls, Hollywood. And while you're at it, suck Arnold's too.

Looks like a sweet movie, though. It's gonna be pretty good.

So dude climbed up this mountain back in the day to see this Kung Fu master. He meets him, and he's all like "Peep dis, hommie: I've been to every dojo in the valley and have mastered every style. I've become the best fighter around. I've heard everyone say yours is the best Kung Fu, son, so i came all the way up this mountain so you can teach me yo!"

The old man at the top of the mountain pondered this young man's story, and was a little freaked out that the young traveller didn't speak at all like some one from eleventh century China, but thought 'Whatevs' and put some tea on.

The young guy said "Hey, man, why are you making tea? We gots ta get our Kung Fu on!"

But the old man replied "Chill out, slick. We gonna get our drank on with some of this pimp-tea!"

The old man poured tea into the cup he had placed out for the young man, but it overflowed from the cup and splashed into the traveller's lap.

"WHAT THA FUCK, B?!" the young man exclaimed. "Aww hell naw!" And he ran back down the mountain, holding his pants out away from his crotch to keep the scalding hot tea away from his balls. "This crazy-ass fool burned mah junk..." he muttered to himself as he waddled away. He kinda looked like a kid that pee'ed his pants, you know. Waddle waddle.

Look, this isn't how the story really goes. It's late, and there's a helicopter and an airplane that keeps circling around, like there's some crazy shit going down right now. Plus, I'm really sick, so I'm not gonna fix the story.

Sorry

Goodnight.

Go to sleep, now.

I'm not sorry.

WEP at a doctor's office?

In light of some recent events, I'm going to do my token "Full-Disclosure" blog entry right now. I'm going to discus the dangers of using Wired Equivalent Privacy, or WEP, to secure a WiFi access point. WEP is now fully depreciated, has been for some years, and more detailed explanations are vast on the 'net. My hope is that some one will read this, and then think twice about implementing WEP.

Side note: WEP does have its place, and I'll get to that.


Imagine, if you will, a doctor's office. Now, imagine a disgruntled divorcee. (Warning, the divorcee's language is very NSFW. If you're reading this line, then the NSFW content is already visible on your screen. lol)

"I fucking hate that bitch! She got everything in the divorce! The house... the kids... my Corvette... I even lost my job and half my friends! I want her life to be as ruined as mine! I want her to lose her job! Now, I know you can to all that 'hacker' stuff. I want you to ruin her employer's network so they go out of business or get in trouble or something. I want revenge. I'll pay you a thousand dollars!"

Not at all a far-fetched scenario. And, if I'm, hypothetically speaking, taking the place of the nefarious individual with whom the divorcee is speaking, all I heard was "...a thousand dollars".

Now lets hear from our hypothetical bad guy hacker cloak and dagger whatever.

"Dude, it was hella easy. All I had to do was spend a few hours in the parking lot across the street. I connected a USB WiFi dongle to a USB extension cord so I could run it out my moon roof. Then booted up BackTrack and, well, I'm not some damned skiddie, but I wanted to be as fast as possible, so I used Kismet to locate their WiFi, used Gerix to crack their WEP key, and the rest was pretty easy. They thought that they were playing it safe by requiring users to authenticate to a Radius server, but not really. I just changed my MAC address to one of the devices already authenticated - I think it was a Cisco VOIP phone - to prevent the network from booting me every five minutes. Then I just did a little ARP Poisoning with Ettercap causing a copy of all network traffic to be routed to my laptop. Then I opened up Wireshark to record all of the data. Later on, at home, I reassembled that captured traffic, and actually got some fascinating stuff. Some emails, a couple phone calls, x-rays, cat scans, ultra-sound, and just a TON of transcriptions destined for patient's charts. I gave this info to my dude, who gave me the grand he promised"

"What happened next?" we  ask our shadowy fiend.

"I gave him his info, he gave me my money... I'm not exactly sure what he did with it, since I don't really care, as long as I got paid... But... I do remember hearing something in the news about that place. Yeah, they had some 'hippa' violations, and got sued by a bunch of patients. They settled out of court, but that's not what put them out of business. I guess that after this happened, their physicians couldn't get any malpractice insurance, and had to give up their doctoism, or something. Everyone lost their jobs."

"What did you do with the money?"

"I used to to buy a motorcycle."

See? See why WEP is a terrible idea when security is your goal? Don't use WEP, unless you want to get in trouble, and let some black-hat hacker buy a motorcycle via your hardship and woe.

Why would anyone ever want to use WEP? Well, it's kind o a psychological thing, really. Think of it as a property marker. WPA is like a chain link or wooden fence. WPA2 is that same fence, topped with electrically charged razor wire. WEP is nothing more than a few sticks with pink spray-paint, delineating where your yard begins and ends. Some one would have to knowingly "trespass" your WiFi yard. It's like saying, I'm not really going to make sure that you can't get into my WiFi, but I'm making it well known that I don't want you there, and have legal recourse if you do break in.

That's stupid, though.

The other use that I can think of would be a diversion, like a WiFi honeypot. Set up a WEP network with some computers on it doing mundane things filled with useless or false information. Hopefully, the attacker will hack into your WEP WiFi, and ignore the one you've secured with WPA2 and made "invisible".

The most important thing we can do with WEP is use it as an example of what NOT to do, and to make jokes about it.

I like to refer to WEP as "Weak Encryption Protocol".

Final Presentation

I decided to table the blog entry I was working about liars.

Last night I had the opportunity to sit in on a presentation that some students did. This presentation was sort of the final test for them to receive their degree. It was somewhat reminiscent of a review board one may encounter in any industry.

I'd  like to offer some observations, but I won't get into any detail, because I'd rather not identify the individuals in the group - I'm not trying to criticize here.

That being said, it seems that the major challenges this group faced were challenges common to any project that requires a presentation. Specifically, I saw three major flaws with the presentation itself, and one major flaw on the material presented.

The first flaw was something inherent to public speaking, and is a difficult skill to develop if it's not something that comes to you naturally. A good deal of this group stuttered, stammered, and just plain froze-up. It happens to the best of us. However, this project was to simulate a company getting a contract. If I'm considering hiring a company to do a job, and the people sent to my office to present all seem scared and grasping for replies to my questions... yeah, they're not getting my contract.

REHEARSE! 
Rehearsing your presentation is an absolute necessity. I'm not saying that this group didn't rehearse, but they definitely stood to benefit from MORE rehearsing.

The second flaw was with their documentation. The cadre on the review board, as well as some of the spectators, brought up a couple of good points on this. One slide dealt with a particular technology. The next slide dealt with a wholly different technology, but because not the title, nor the bullet items, but the subtitle from the previous slide was erroneously carried over to the next slide, this group misrepresented two of the products involved in their service. It was clarified, but no doubt, points were taken off. It was a minor error, but the next error was not so minor. One of the other people sitting on the review board noticed a discrepancy on the cost-breakdown, one that would cost the client around $7,000. To a choosy CEO, that's possibly enough to Kibosh the entire show.

Make sure your documentation is 100% accurate!
Seems like kind of a no-brainier, and perhaps an insurmountable task, but it could be the difference between winning or losing a contract. Lose the contract, lose money. No money, no food. No food, you dead! The financial error really surprised me. The group used Microsoft Excel to make this part of their presentation. Why then, I wonder, did they not utilize the calculation features of Excel? The error occurred when certain items were removed from the list, and the total costs were updated erroneously, or not at all. When used correctly, Excel takes care of all of that for you!

Finally, there were questions asked of the group, and no answers were given, other than "Oh, I'd have to look into that and get back to you." After about the third or fourth one of these, one of the cadre replied "Yeah, I'll be expecting that answer next quarter." which is funny, because those students were supposed to be graduating this quarter.

Be an EXPERT!
There were five people in this group. While no one person could be an expert on everything in it, there should have, given the information presented, and keeping with common current affairs in their particular discipline, been zero questions that went unanswered. Again, this may seem harsh, or even impossible, but allow me to explain.

Remember that fourth error I mentioned? The one dealing with the presentation itself? Well, it had to do with security. Since network security (and compliance with HIPPA) is a huge facet of building a network from the ground up, at least one person in that group needed to become an "expert".  I'm using the word expert loosely, here. At least one person should have been able to explain what their honeypot actually does, or how they plan on defending against a DDoS, a very very common form of cyber attack. And finally, some one should have been able to defend their choice of using, of all things, WEP, to secure their WiFi.

It was clear to me that not one person in the group was an expert on security (or even knowledgeable). I'm not saying that everyone should be as focused on, *ahem* hacking, as I am, but if I'm told to present a topic on something, I had damn well better figure it out. If anyone of these people had Googles 'WEP', they would have made a better choice.

Again, I'm not trying to criticize, I'm simply stating that there were things that should have been done better - things that are not specific to anyone presentation, and are, in fact, common to all presentations.

Rehearse | Become knowledgeable (or expert) in what's being presented | Eliminate typos!


On the flip-side, the groups information that was correctly presented was pretty spot on! I'm sure that they had passed their review, and will be cleared to get those lovely pieces of paper that say "Gradamatated!" on it.

Again, while this was an IT presentation, these faux pas are common to any type of presentation. Regardless of what you're presenting, make sure not to make those basic mistakes!

High School Mischief

As I thought about how funny these two stories are (to me, anyway), I kept remembering more and more details. I thought about adding them in, and then having to clarify and stating my moral stance on things like ethics and hacking and school kids doing things on the computer that the adults don't want them to (the same adults who only knew the difference between Microsoft Works and Claris Works, and tying meccpro on the older computers would bring up WordMuncher, yadda-yadda-yadda®, and decided to just say "fuck it" and write the damn blog.

Have whatever opinions you want. I don't care what they are.

In my freshman year, I had decided that my high school, and everything in it was really out dated. I'm not going to mention the school's name, because, truth be told, it's a lot better now. There's a five and ten year gap between my younger siblings and I, and from what they've told me, the school has improved vastly. When my little brother graduated (early, w00t), they even had their own robotics and programming teams. Not too shabby.

But back in 1999, when I was 15, the only computer related classes were Intro to Computers and Intro to C++. Boring classes, but computers where one of my hobbies, so I took them. And this was before I knew anything about hacking.

• Hacking:(computing) Playful solving of technical work that requires deep understanding, especially of a computer system.
From hacker: "A person who delights in having an intimate understanding of the internal workings of a system, computers and computer networks in particular."
  

I didn't know it at the time, but by definition, I, and many of my friends, were already "hackers". Neat.

Lots of good fun that is funny!

So the school network, back in the day, ran on a network operating system called Novell. Novell sucked then, and kinda sucks now. I had heard a rumor that a student was able to get what the rumor mill was calling "admin" or "super user" access to the network. Immediately I imagined Mathew Broderick in WarGames changing his love intrest's biology grade from an F to an A. I personally would never do that (an A would be suspicious... maybe a C...) but I bet there was some fun to be had.

I thought in reverse, something that has proved invaluable to me. I went to a search engine (probably Yahoo, since I hadn't yet decided Google was right for me), and searched "How do I stop users from getting admin?" That's when I discovered The Net Plug exploit. It ran like this: I intentionally screw up my log in three times to get locked out of my account, reboot the computer, and press 'del' to get into the BIOS menu. Then I tell the teacher that my computer's messed up. The IT guy comes and boots the conmputer into Windows. At the log in prompt, I tell him I'm logged out. I tell him my username, and then run to the bathroom holding my tummy and ass. Then I have some one... we'll call him P---, run interference. He laughs and yells as run out "I told you not to eat that chili!" The IT guy logs into his account on my workstation and resets my password. I spend at least 20 minutes in the can. IT guy gets impatient, writes my temporary password down, gives it to the teacher, and tells him it is very important that I change my password as soon as I log in. As soon as the IT guy leaves, P--- unplugs the network cable to my workstation. I return, with only a few minutes of class time left, and reboot the machine. With the network cable unplugged, I select the option that allows me to  - without a password or user name - log in to the local machine. Then I plug the cable back in. Confused, Windows asks Novell what user I  am. Just as confused, Novell tells Windows that I'm the IT guy. And in true retard fashion, Novell asks Windows who I am, and Windows tells Novell that I'm the IT guy.

Guess what? Now I'm the IT guy.

Using the IT guy's account, I created several student accounts that had admin level access, and used them to create users that had teacher level access. The I changed my password, and never logged into any of those accounts I created, out of fear of being caught. They were all set to expire in December of 2003. And so it goes.

But I did use this "thinking backwards" method for more fun. In stead of searching for "How do I bypass Bessie Content Filter?", I searched "How do I prevent users from bypassing Bessie Content Filter?" And I did the same thing for Novell Messenger. These searches led me to regedit.exe, which allowed me to disable the content filter, and enable the messenger. Cool, I guess. I looked at boobs and paint ball guns and IMed other students.

"What a slacker!"

Sure, why not. Call me a slacker. Other shenanigans involved pranking some of my friends. Let's call one of them E---. It was my turn to prank E---, and I knew that the teacher of Intro to Computers has a pet-peeve; he hated when kids wrote on his dry-erase board. He also had a habit of yelling really loudly, and suffering from halitosis. So, naturally, when he wasn't looking, I wrote on the board.

I wrote: E---HAS NO WIENER!!

Then I pointed to the board and said "E---! Look what I, Tony, have done!"

He retaliated by erasing his name, and writing Tony, except before he got finished with the 'n', I yelled "MR. S----, LOOK WHAT E--- IS DOING!" And E--- had to smell Mr. S----'s perpetual fish breathe.

Then, when I became a high school upper classmen, I went to the local vocational school to study computers even more. (Better than burying my face in a history book from 1976, right?)

At the vocational school, we learned about Net Send, something more useful than Novell Messenger, since it didn't require us to change anything. Our computer teacher actually encouraged us to use it when working on assignments that allowed collaboration, as it would keep the noise down. We found a little utility that used a GUI, and everyone downloaded it. Then, the school's head IT guy discovered it on my computer, and threatened to have me expelled. The teacher threw me under the bus, claiming she had never condoned the use of Net Send. (Italicized because you know who you are). I was facing a suspension, and being prhibited from touching a computer on school grounds, meaning I would have to drop out of my computer classes, and return to the high school I had just escaped. Luckily for me, my nerd like qualities had me in places of power in a ton of student organisations, and was actually an intern on the school's marketing/PR department (and later IT department. Go figure). I pulled some strings, and got out of it. Politics are the devil, BTW.

Anyway, I kept the whole Novell messenger thing a secret until there were only two weeks left of our senior year. I told some students who where in some other computer classes. (I was in networking, there was also the Cisco class that I was supposed to have been in, a business class, electronics, and programming & web design.

Some how word of my dry-erase board trick spread to a student in the electronic class. A student named C----. C---- was good friends with E---, and thought that was hilarious. He also thought, during a project that involved all of the classes, that it would be funny to send E--- the message "E--- HAS NO WIENER!!" during class. But he didn't stop there. When selecting the recipient of the message, he clicked on EVERY SINGLE USER NAME IN THE SYSTEM.

Let me explain that a little better. Novell Messenger is an administration utility for admins to send messages to users, so the sender is presented with a convenient list of every single user account. That's teachers, students, other IT personnel, the secretary, public relations (yes, we had a PR department), principle, vice  principles, the janitor, EVERYONE! Now, let me explain why, in addition to users, servers were included in this list. If a specific server needed to be rebooted, for whatever reason, an admin could message that server, and the server would in turn forward that message to every user on that server. Student server needs rebooting? Send this message to student.server:

Attention users, please log out within five minutes and do not log back in until an announcement stating that it's okay to log in or all your progress will be lost.

You get the idea now, right? Anyway, he selected the servers too, so after the shock set in, and the student or teacher selected "OK", they were presented with the message again. 


Suffice it to say, the entire school came to a screeching halt. The cherry on top was when the loud speakers, throughout the school, rang out with "C----- T-----, please report to the office. C----- T-----, please report to the office, IMMEDIATELY!"

But wait, there's more!

Allow me to explain the vocational school's relationship with the highschools in the county (and one in a neighboring county). Students who's grades were high enough had the option, in 11th and 12th grade, to either spend the entire day at their high school, half at their high school and half at the vocational school, or the entire day at the vocational school.

While I spent my entire day at the vocational school, many did not. So, naturally word spread to the seven high schools that feed into the vocational school, but it happened faster than you might think. That's because the principles and vice principles were connected, probably via a VPN, to the vocational school's network, so they got this pop-up message as well!

Aaaaaaaaaaand

Then there were the students at the vocational school who weren't in a computer class, and there for didn't use a school computer every day. But those students all had reports due before finals week. Whether it was an entire English class using a computer lab, or a couple of cosmetology or mechanics students in the library, all students would eventually log in. And one by one, they were all greeted with:

E--- HAS NO WIENER!!

"Who the hell is E---?" they'd ask each other. "Who is C.T----?" and "E--- has no wiener!" they'd shout!

It left a legacy. Years after my departure, they were still talking about the user C.T----- and the alleged eunuch  named E---.


Epilogue:

'Hackers', MFW

 Does screwing around on the computer mean that s student is bad and won't amount to anything? During middle school, I was involved in a group called Civil Air Patrol. CAP is the civilian auxiliary of the United States Air Force. Although many saw it as a weird Boy Scouts clone, CAP is actually responsible for over 90% of all inland search and rescue operations in the United States. In addition to learning about aeronautics & aerospace, flying a single-engine aircraft (with instructor pilot), learning about and using two-way radio communication, building model rockets and flying them in competitions, learning basic survival skills, and training for search and rescue with CAP and other organizations, such as the USAF, Air National Guard, Air Force Reserve, local, state, and county law enforcement, and becoming acclimated to a military way of life, we actually went on search and rescue sorties and found downed aircraft.

Later, in high school, I was the president of our local chapter of Key Club, the secretary (then later vice-president) of our school's Business Professionals of America chapter, a tour-guide for groups of prospective students that would come see the school, and a school representative that would go to the local high schools, and give a presentation to the students there. I was a journalist in our schools chapter of the CNN Student-Bureau. I also interned for the school's IT department, and the IT department of one of the other high schools. I also had a full time job,and bills, the entire time.

And then how did this SLACKER do at graduation time? I'll let my two honors diplomas speak for themselves.

I went on to study aeronautics and spent some time in the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps. I am now an FAA licensed pilot, and I am currently studying computer forensics and network security at the collegiate level.

I'm not trying to brag, just trying to preemptively address some of the "kids shouldn't screw around at school or they'll spend their life flipping burgers and America will degrade and be invaded by Canada and Mexico in a hundred years." rhetoric that fucking morons always spew when they encounter anything involving students "screwing around" with computers. I guess they forgot about the students who lit stink bombs and stuff when they were kids. Or maybe those pranksters didn't do as well in life as the "hackers" did? I don't know.

I've rambled.

tl;dr Hackers, FTW. Old people are teh lulz

Lowe's Wants You to FAX a Signed Form to LINK TO THEIR SITE!

I just read over at&
nbsp;Ars Technica that Lowe's thinks that it has the legal authority to make people download a form, sign it, fax it to Lowe's, and then wait for Lowe's to grant permission before anyone can post a link to Lowe's website!

This is what happens when, in business, the people you put in charge of internet things don't know shit about the internet! The experts are the people that old people (like congress) call "nerds".

To keep it short, Robert Downy Jr. said it best. Lowe's, are you listening?



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