Big Dumb Ape

(This is from my smartphone, so, no spell check. Your corrections will be pronptly ignored.)

 Late last night I did something I thought I'd never do. I became enraged by something I read on Twitter. Before I go any further, I want to get something out of the way: I don't choose a side in the whole Christianity v. Atheism debate because there are a whole bunch of fucking morons on both sides. I have my belief, other people have theirs, and as an American, I respect that. (To our international readers: Yes, we in the United States refer to ourselves as Americans, meaning only U.S. Americans. Yes we know that te word 'American' applies to anyone on either American continant. No, I won't apologize.)

For the record, I was raised Roman Catholic, and, for the most part, that's what I believe. No, I don't hate Athiests. If I did, I wouldn't have married one. I still hug my athiest family members when I see them. I hug the religious ones too.

So anyway, this pretentious ass on Twitter (whom knows a very good friend of min in real life) decides that every one who has a religion is not only less inteligent than he and his comrads, but that they (we) are deserving of his hatred. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that in The Dark Ages, it was that type of rhetoric that led to the so called Holy Wars, something that athiests use as an argument against structured relgion. Does anyone else see a sort of hypocrisy here? It's a few degrees of severity short of "Kill the un-believer!" There were actually two of these pretentius mother fuckers on Twitter. I told them how much their hate-speech reminded me of Al Queda. Then I unfollowed these two atheists because I tryh not to associate with religous extremists.

And if you think I'm preaching some kind of touchy feely everybody love your neighbor bullshit, well, fuck you. We're all in this shit together so don't be such a fucking dick because you can't get along with people who are different than you because you never learned to share or play with others as a child and when mommy changed your poopey diaper she wiped your little tushy and put powder on it and told you it was special and different than every one elses. WELL THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE SHIT BIRD AND YOU WON'T ALWAYS HAVE A KEYBOARD IN BETWEEN YOU AND ME! I mean shit, that guy hates me! He said so himself. And all because I was taught a magic man in the sky did some stuff and I didn't find that to be in conflict with science. If you read a book you would know that while many physicists are athiest, many are not. Just sayin.

And now, a less than eloquent segue:

I felt like they were saying I'm nothing more than a big dumb ape. And you know what? Sometimes I kinda like being a big dumb ape. Aww hell, I always like being a big dumb ape. But I don't see many other big dumb apes who have accomplished many of the things I have. Not many other big dumb apes can say they've made a difference. Matter of fact, remember those people I was talking about earlier, the ones who hate me because I'm not like them?

You know what? I'm not even going to go there. I'm not that much of a dick.

I am a dick though. At work, a vehcile approached a remote operated gate. I tried to communicate with this fine gentlemen, but he became increasingly annoyed with my efforts to ascertain his desired destination, as I am required to do by our S.O.P.

He had some choice language for me and as he entered the building, his gibberish rage subsided once he saw the big dumb ape whith whom he was conversing. A look of meekishness befell him, as he tried to side step his way past my checkpoint.

I looked at him, and gestured for him to come to my desk. I asked him - POLITELY AND PROFFESIONALLY - to present his identification and report his destination. And as I signed him in, his courage returned and he said "You gotta git your fuckin hearrin checked, mannn!"

I stood up, started the scitzo blink and was honest about my hearing loss: "In two thousand and three, a big FUCKING bomb went off right next to my FUCKING head and ruined this ear and I'M A LITTLE FUCKING SENSITIVE ABOUT IT."

He apologised and started talking about the war.

"I was never in the military. IT WAS MY BOMB!"

He left afte that. I don't know why.