Angry CyberPunk Review No.1

I need to warn you right off the bat: I wrote this last night at work. I've been under a lot of stress, so thise thing has extra swear words in it!

I hate my phone. I get no signal of any kind in this building, and I have to write this on my peice of shit Samsung Intercept on mother fucking "Think Free Office" because my phone failed to install QuickOffice. This peice of shitprogram I'm using now - you type and it takes like sixty seconds for text to appear, one letter at a time.

Welcome to Angry CyberPunk Reviews, a new reocurring segment on my blog.

I hate this phone, so I won't really be reviewing any cyberpunk, just bitching about stuff. If I was on a real computer, I'd be bitching more creativley.

Appleseed. It is a manga written and illustrated by the freakin amazing Shirow Masimune. Freakin a. I haven't had the opportunity to read it yet. Then there were some OVAs that I also have not seen. I am bummed. However, I have seen the two CGI theatrical releases: Appleseed, and the sequal Appleseed Ex Machina. Now, I have been told that these two movies have pretty much nothing to do with the Manga, and that Mr. Masamune may not have been involved with their production, but they're still pretty sweet.

Now there's this bad-ass, smoking hot blond raver chick named Dunan. She'll just as soon shoot you as she would look at you. I don't think she's DTF, though, because her boy toy, Rearios, got his shit fucked up in the war. His body got FUBAR, so they stuck him in a robot body a la Robocop. He can't do it, and looks like a Mr. Coffee with bunny ears, so Miss Hot Pants Dunan is a little tripped up about it.

In the mean time, the powers that be get a hold of MechaBunny's DNA and mix it with other DNA to make a bioroid (a sort of living android) that looks just like him. I forget his name but he's a fucking ass hat. Timmy? Tommy? Tinkadink? TonkaTruck? Whatever.

So now, he's all like "Ooh, look at my sexy body! It's way better than your stupid metal body. I have warm flesh and blood, Dunan, AND a working penis! And I don't have emotions so I can Karate fight betterthan you." Terios. That's his name. What a tool.

Then Dunan's all like "Oh what's going on? I hate this guy because he looks just like my b/f, but he's sexy so now I'm both conflicted and moist!"

And ol' metal face is like "Imma fuck this chump up! Ahh! I'm freaking out! I shot this bald headed guy because his bluetooth headset bothered me, but he was my bfff!" That stand's for Best Fucking Freinds Forever, incase you haven't seen "Step Brothers".

Then there's a virus and some shit blows up and I think zombies at one point, I shit you not.

I think it's rated R. They say things like 'fuck' and 'caca' and 'peepee' and whatever. Blood and guts are at a minimum, but people do get killed.

Also, not a single tit or ass.

Good flick.

Next time I'll tackle Ghost in the Shell.